As we reach the end of another week, there is much to look forward to, yet I’m apprehensive about some things too.
My discharge has been brought forward from this Thursday (9th) to today!
As I mentioned on Tuesday, the combined effect of the bank holiday and being allowed an extra day out of hospital to celebrate my Dad’s birthday on Wednesday, meant that I had seven consecutive nights at home. When I got back to hospital yesterday, knowing that it was only for one night and that afterwards I would be back at home for another three, I started to talk to the staff about discharge. We concluded that, seeing as by the end of today we will have ticked all the boxes therapy-wise, why not go before the weekend?
So last night we sent most of my belongings home from hospital, and today (perhaps it will have happened by the time you read this!) I will be sent home with the remainder, and a pile of drugs to last the next month. This, to me, feels like the right move at the right time. Please pray that this weekend would go well, and that the bed at the hospital that is being held for me over the weekend ‘just in case’ wouldn’t be required.
Tremendous as the support I have had from the hospital has been, there will now be left a void, which will be filled by:
• My GP. He’ll be coordinating the facilities I can access, including prescriptions for the local gym and pool, as well as drugs. Please pray for wisdom, particularly in the drug weaning process.
• Some kind physio friends, who have offered to see me every now and then. Thank God for them, that they, like the medics would have wisdom, and that they would be blessed for offering me their help!
• My wonderful family. They have already, as you know, borne huge levels of pressure since the beginning of the year. And now, as I return home, the new pressures they face will be more practical than ever.
• Myself. In receiving the sort of help I’ve had, you become kind of institutionalised. There are some things which are always done for you, and other things which you simply don’t have the opportunity to do in hospital. Now is the point at which I am able to take back more responsibility for my own life, knowing that there isn’t the safety net of hospital to go back to at the end of the weekend.
Although in some ways the decision to go home feels like a practical one, in truth it is a momentous one. Back in April, we had no reason to believe that I would necessarily ever go home again. We could only hope and pray that that God would spare my life. Judes’s words feel like an appropriate response to this grace:
“Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen”